For many of us who have been through the emotional turmoil known as divorce, you often feel like you just want to move on and start a new chapter in your life.
The problem comes when you get you an immediate reminder of your previous situation and relationship, when the holiday season looms on the horizon.
Coping with the holidays
Having been through and reached a finance divorce settlement, it is often difficult to deal with major family-orientated events in the calendar such as the festive season, so you need to try and find a way to cope that works for you.
If there are children involved, the main priority is to try and reassure the kids about the situation and to make sure that they still feel equally loved by both parents.
Sit down and talk to your children about the situation and reassure them that although things are bound to be different to how they were before, they can still count on the love and support from both of you.
Try to agree on a sensible parenting arrangement for the holiday season that allows you to enjoy the festivities and some quality time with the children for both of you. Setting out a framework for access and visitation at times like the holiday season will help to reduce any potential tension, which the children could easily pick up on.
Over time, there is even a reasonable chance that both parents will be able to attend family events despite the fact that they are now divorced, but meanwhile the main focus should be on trying to achieve a co-parenting celebration.
If you can, it would be great to agree to spend just an evening or afternoon together to open presents and maybe some enjoy some positive activity that the children will appreciate and enjoy.
Even if you have agreed to have the children separately, if you can to collaborate for the sake of the children and maybe meet for lunch before going your separate ways afterwards, this would be positive parental collaboration which could help children and parents alike, cope with what can be an awkward situation.
One day at a time
There is an inevitable healing process involved when you go through a divorce and emotions can often run high when you reach poignant dates in the calendar like birthdays and Christmas.
Taking each day and event at a time and coping with that, is often the best way to approach this scenario.
Although it does not always feel that way, things almost always get better and easier as time passes by. If you focus your attention on making sure that the children enjoy their time with you and save any arguments or discussions for another time when they are not around, this will certainly help to make it easier to cope with emotionally challenging family events.
The trick to staying sane and keeping your emotions under control during times like the holiday season, is often to make plans beforehand and try to collaborate and cooperate as best you can, for the sake of the children.
Grace Riley is a divorce lawyer’s assistant and is currently studying for her own degree. She is an online contributor to various relationship and lifestyle blogs where she offers her helpful advice for dealing with divorce from legal matters to matters of the heart.