To some people, growing up means nothing but the opportunity to buy alcohol and get a driver’s license. Their whole life is a delayed jump from puberty to retirement. They do not have really close people, far-reaching plans, and deep feelings.
It is difficult to recognize such a person at the beginning of a relationship. Much is perceived as lovely fads, which you learn to bear. In addition, the maternal instinct interferes, where it is not necessary, and suggests that all men are grown-up children. Still, lasting relationships require effort, hopefully not only yours.
Here are a few signs that will help to understand that there is an emotionally immature guy next to you. It’s up to you to learn how to deal with the problem: you can re-educate him or save the energy for an adequate relationship with another person.
1. He analyzes too much
Just like indifference, too close attention to your relationship is an unhealthy sign. A constant attempt to find out if you are offended, why you are looking like that, why you refused to drink coffee with him, and what the hell it should mean suggests this guy cannot read the emotions of others. You feel the need to constantly explain everything to him. However, the relationship should be built on trust. It is most unfortunate that girls often perceive this behavior in a wrong way and are proud of the fact that the partner cares about them. Disappointed girls, longing for men’s attention, are an ideal target for an infantile guy.
2. He immediately wants to spend the night with you
At first glance, you read the question in his eyes: “When is it going to happen?”. You tell him that you have recently buried your favorite dog, and in response you hear that doggie-style is what he likes most of all. Ten minutes after acquaintance, he will put his hand on your shoulder as if he were your husband. After 15 minutes, he will declare you a couple and will be seriously offended if you suggest not to have an affair for some time.
The fact that the man considers sex an issue of primary importance from the very beginning makes you doubt the seriousness of his intentions. If you yourself do not mind sleeping with him after the first date, everything’s fine. This may be a good affair. But if your goal is a serious relationship, admit that his impatience is caused by immaturity rather than your stunning look.
3. He goes back on his promises
Frivolous attitude to promises is also a sign of immature personality. Even if he does not keep his word before his friends or acquaintances, you should be alert. An adult can refuse people rather than make false promises.
4. He says a lot of unnecessary things during the quarrel
When any talk about the relationship turns into a scandal with a bunch of reproaches and insults, it is not always a feature of hot temperament. Most likely, this is just an inability to have a constructive dialogue. Immature people find it difficult to control their emotions, they often attack and get offended instead of listening. Such a person resists as long as possible and is unable to recognize a mistake even in small things.
5. Your relationship is a competition rather than a partnership
He is the last one to rejoice at your success, and the first one to glee from satisfaction when seeing you fail. Even if you get killed by a garbage truck, he will only say: “I’ve always said that you do not know how to cross the road!”. Your whole life is an attempt to find out who is right. It does not matter what the conflict is about and who started this endless dispute. This childish competition syndrome is incredibly tiring. Sometimes it is the strongest motivation to be happy notwithstanding all the adverse circumstances – after all, there is too much competition in our lives.
6. He does not know how to dispose of money
No matter how much this guy earns, a week after his salary he runs out of money. He can suddenly come home on a brand new four-wheeler or confess about a half-million loan taken to lend money to a friend he used to know. On the other hand, talking about the wedding makes him sad because “unfortunately, it is unaffordable now”.
7. You are not a priority for him
The ability to find a balance between personal life and communication with friends is the quality of a mature personality. If you feel more like a roadside cafe than the ultimate goal of his life path, then there is no point in claiming your rights and making ultimatums in the spirit of “either me or them”. He is not interested in a serious relationship, that’s all.