Most of you, when looking for a suitable job, pay attention not only to the salary but also to how friendly and well-coordinated the team is because you will have to spend most of your time there. According to psychologists, such friendliness can play a cruel joke with you – on the one hand, warm and comfortable relations are very important, but on the other one – you can end up pulling all responsibilities by yourself, just “out of friendship”. You wouldn’t refuse good people, would you?
Geniusbeauty.com has talked to psychologists and made several recommendations that will help you be liked by your colleagues without allowing them to take advantage of you.
Be friendly but try to keep your distance.
Politeness does not mean compliance and readiness to carry out other employees’orders 24 hours a day. Try to act friendly without getting too close and make sure that other employees respect your boundaries. After all, as psychologists say, work and friendship exclude each other, but you still should observe the proprieties.
Try to learn basic things about the people with whom you will have to spend time working, but no more than that (do not try to get into their soul hoping to find out everything about the person).
Do not discuss your personal life with colleagues.
No matter how much you want to brag about your spouse’s job, your next holiday destination or the place of your would-be country house, try to control yourself and spare your colleagues the details of your personal life. After all, people are different, and envy is a common thing (and who knows how this or that person will behave if envy suddenly begins to grow into anger and the search for justice).
Besides, you should thoroughly consider what and how many details you tell your colleagues. It is possible that your relationship with someone will fail, so it is better not to regret having told too much. After all, everything you say may be used against you.
Do not gossip in the office
Gossiping about employees or, even worse, about the boss is the last thing you should do. Firstly, it does not make you look better in the eyes of others, and secondly, gossipers and intriguers are not welcome, so don’t be surprised if they send you packing before the end of your probation period.
If you really want to work at this place for a long time and have your colleagues’ support, then try not to trust the rumors and not join any coalition – this is best for you. Just do what you have to and leave all irrelevant conversations outside the office.
Do not say how bad it was at your previous job
Believe that if you are constantly complaining about how unworthy your previous boss was and how you felt uncomfortable working under his authority, it will not make you look better in the eyes of the team. On the contrary, you will get a reputation of an eternal whiner who cannot appreciate the important and adequately use the chances that fate presents.
Therefore, no matter how much you want to reveal your former boss’ background, try to avoid this topic, and answer all your colleagues’ questions succinctly, saying that you simply decided to move on because you had no place to grow in the previous company.
Learn the art of diplomacy in communication
No matter how difficult the negotiations are (or no matter what your personal attitude to the interlocutor is), try to communicate politely, observing the basic rules of diplomacy. No one forces you to adapt to the interlocutor, but you can at least make sure that neither you nor the person feels uncomfortable during the conversation, and that you quickly come to an agreement on controversial points.
Show respect for your colleagues’ achievements and experience
Do not put yourself above others or try to catch them being incompetent or inferior to you in some abilities. On the contrary, show friendliness and respect for what your colleagues have already achieved, turning a blind eye to some of their weaknesses (for example, if you are extremely good in something, then you shouldn’t put it up for public discussion or invoke inferiority complexes in your coworkers. Believe us, the experience is something you gain in the course of life). In addition, they may happen to be better than you in other ways and can teach you something useful and important for your professional growth.
Before assisting, make sure that this is not an attempt to impose other people’s duties on you.
Very often, some employees try to use friendship with colleagues to get them to perform certain work that is not part of their duties. Therefore, before agreeing to help, make sure that your good attitude is not used for personal gain, otherwise, you will regularly do other people’s work.
In case of a dispute, turn to your boss
In order to avoid mutual insults or recriminations, in case of any disputable situation, immediately offer your colleague to turn to the boss. In this way, you will avoid unnecessary quarrels and make it clear that the management’s decision will be your ultimate truth. With this approach, your opponent will have no choice but to accept this position of yours.
Let it be a team game, but not a one-sided one
Try to establish contact with other employees, show interest in their affairs, support them in difficult times and help to solve some difficult issues if this is in your competence. However, do not allow them to violate your personal space or make friends with you.
Likewise, cut short all the attempts to use your good attitude for somebody’s benefit (for example, people may start reassigning part of their work to you, saying that they are having crunch time and don’t cope with their duties).
Use one of your strengths to help colleagues.
In other words, let them know that you are strong in something and ready to help other employees with this. For example, you are fluent in several languages and don’t mind translating important documents or writing a letter to foreign partners. At the same time, do not forget to remind others that you are much worse at, say, updating tables with reports or making changes to presentations, and you are happy to delegate this task to someone else.
This will help you to establish rapport with colleagues and show that you are not against gratuitous help, but only in one aspect (otherwise, you will keep getting other requests/tasks/assignments that are not part of your immediate duties).