Introverts are not pleased with parties, crowds, and noisy events, but sometimes they have to be present at such festivities. Read how to stop hating such events and even get something useful from them.
Introverts do not need noisy companies, they relax alone or in a circle of close friends. Social events with crowds of people, parties and celebrations surround us everywhere, and no matter how hard an introvert tries to avoid such events, they must be visited from time to time. Here are a few tips on how to go through a noisy party with a bunch of people and formal conversations and derive no negative emotions from this experience.
You need to know when the most horrible thing begins
Socialization is inevitable and quite normal, even for introverts. Anyway, there are situations that can be useful for introverts, whereas other events can be avoided without losing anything.
What can you avoid?
Weekly gatherings in a bar or café. There is a total misconception that relaxing in a bar amidst a large crowd of people brings much fun, but you may easily avoid these gatherings and find a better way to use your energy.
Weddings, parties and other events held by the people whom you do not know very well. Some people find it very interesting to attend the wedding of their cousin’s best friend, but if you are an introvert, you can avoid such fun, and no one will be offended (of course, if you do not need to accompany another introvert, who feels very bad without you).
Going somewhere to meet new people. If you are single and tired of loneliness, you need to go somewhere to meet potential friends. It sounds perfect if you are determined to do so; in fact, it is better to meet someone in person than to keep in touch online. But if you are not ready to meet new people and make friends, no one is forcing you – postpone this moment as long as necessary.
What is impossible to avoid
Events at work, corporate parties and meetings are not included in your personal life, and you have to communicate with employees, even if you do not like them. Of course, you can find a profession that does not involve dealing with people, but if you are still working in a team, it will be almost impossible to move up the career ladder alone.
Special events for close friends and family members should be attended. Whether it’s your sister’s wedding, your best friend’s birthday or a celebration of some significant occasion with your relatives – you have to be present. We all have social obligations, even if they sometimes resemble a trial.
Your personal significant events. Of course, you can do nothing and thereby avoid gathering friends and arranging noisy parties. But your friends may want to arrange them for you. If it’s up to you to arrange a party, you can at least control its size and format, which is definitely a plus.
So, despite your dislike of noisy companies, there are events, which cannot be avoided. And here are some ways to get some fun from these parties instead of getting annoyed at them.
Think of a goal for yourself
It seems that having a goal is not connected with the pleasure of partying, but if you fail to get pleasure from noisy gatherings, think of a few quests, and you will have at least some sense in communicating.
- For example, if you go to a corporate party to move up the career ladder, try to communicate with people who can be helpful.
- If you’re going to a friend’s birthday, pay more attention to him/her, and if you want to diversify your social circle of connections (or start one), select the most attractive strangers and try to communicate with them.
A specific goal will help you clearly understand why you are “in this horrible place.” More importantly, it will help you stay focused.
In a noisy gathering of people, introverts are attacked by a powerful flow of external stimuli, which are confusing and make them feel miserable.
If you discover a specific goal for yourself, your brain will focus on its execution, and loud music, the lights and the noise of talk will not be so noticeable and annoying.
Calmness before and after the party
Why are extroverts so fond of noisy gatherings and parties? Because they are “recharged” by communicating with other people and a continuous stream of external stimuli. Introverts, on the contrary, recuperate their energy alone and spend it in the community.
Therefore, before you spend your energy on communication and new acquaintances, you have to accumulate it first. Prior to the event, try to be alone and do some favorite things for some time: read a book, sleep, listen to music or watch an episode of your favorite series.
After the party, try to save some time for your favorite activities, to restore the depleted energy and do not plan any public events the next day. If you fail to avoid this, try to leave the party early, so that you have a few quiet hours before bedtime.
This not only helps you to relax and recover, but changes your attitude towards noisy gatherings and parties. If you come to the party without the usual depression and fatigue, you’ll be more likely to wait for the next event without fear or anxiety.
Find some place where you can relax
Let’s say you are full of energy before the party, but this does not mean that your strength will suffice for the whole evening. Therefore, as soon as you arrive at the venue, find some “safe haven” for yourself whereto you can escape and have some rest.
This may be a kitchen, a bathroom, a balcony or even your car. Staying alone for a few minutes will help you relax from the external stimuli that affect the introverts so strongly.
It is even easier, if you are throwing your own party. Here you can always save a place for you to rest, and you won’t have to look for it. For example, make your bedroom or balcony a special place for introverts, where you and the people with a similar type of behavior can relax.
Discover the new social space with the help of friends
Not all introverts are shy, yet this type of personality is often combined with some problems in communication, especially with new people. If you fail to just meet new people, friends will help you.
For example, your extrovert friend will begin a dialogue with a new person, and then you will join the conversation. Alternatively, you can start a conversation with a friend and then involve strangers in the discussion.
Ask a stranger who comes up to you, or the one who is listening to your conversation, what he thinks about it. In such a way, you will discuss an interesting topic, which is much more comfortable for an introvert than a small talk about some trifles.
It’s good to have a few sociable extroverts among friends. As a rule, extroverts will not sit long in one place and will constantly communicate with a group of people – they move from one company to another, making new acquaintances.
You can always use this fact to communicate with new people or to get away from those you do not like. For example, you understand that you are forced to talk with someone who is unpleasant to you. Just say that you need to communicate with your friend X. Leave the interlocutor and look for your friend, talk with him and with everyone, who is standing nearby at the moment.
Take small talk as part of life
You can hardly meet new people without any small talk. It is clear that you can chat for hours about the things you find interesting, but most people would say it is boring.
Small talk unites people, even if they are quite distant from each other: discuss what you do at work, where you live, who you know, what you think about some event, etc. All of this is necessary to talk about before you move to more interesting topics…
There is no universal tool that will help you maintain a good conversation, but you have to agree they are needed. Remember two things that will help you treat such conversations easier:
- People are interested in you. You may think that people do not care who you are and what you’re doing and that they ask these questions out of politeness. Sometimes it is true, but not always. Most people are really interested when they ask about your work or hobbies, especially if you have something in common.
- You get exactly what you are giving away. You will receive the same emotions from the party that you put into it. You may need to try to force yourself to meet new people, but in the end you will be surprised how many new contacts and pleasant impressions you get. If someone does not want to talk to you, it’s not your fault. You did everything you could.
Come up with a plan of retreat
If your energy reserves are rapidly diminishing and you feel that it is necessary to urgently get away from the party, it’s not the most pleasant experience to force yourself to go on communicating.
Nevertheless, it may happen if you, for example, have come in the same car with your friends. If it is your car, you cannot leave the party without them. This action will not look friendly, you will spoil their fun and, most importantly, the relationship.
If the car belongs to your friends, the situation is not very pleasant again. It is better to think in advance about how you will get to your home, and then you will have the freedom to do it any time you want.
It is unclear whether you will leave the party earlier than your friends, but having such an opportunity gives you more confidence.
These are all the tips about parties we can give to introverts. Do you have your own ways to feel more comfortable at a noisy event?